What To Do If Someone Owes You Money

Ah, the age-old dance. You lent a friend a few bucks. Or maybe it was a bit more. Now, the music has stopped. And your wallet feels a little lighter than it should.

It’s a situation as common as bad coffee. You’re left wondering how to gently nudge your dear debtor. Without, you know, becoming that person. The one who hounds others for loose change.

First things first. Take a deep breath. And maybe a small sip of that aforementioned bad coffee. It’s probably not the end of the world. Yet.

Let’s be honest. The “asking for money back” conversation is rarely a walk in the park. It’s more like a minefield. With a grumpy badger guarding the exit.

Your primary goal is to retrieve your funds. Your secondary goal is to avoid awkward silences. And perhaps, a sudden urge to fake your own death to avoid future social gatherings.

Now, before you go full-on debt collector. Remember the human element. This person is your friend. Or acquaintance. Or that guy from accounting who always borrows your stapler.

So, let’s try the “casual reminder” approach. It’s the velvet glove of money retrieval. Think of it as a gentle breeze, not a hurricane.

You could, for instance, bring it up when discussing something else entirely. “Hey, remember that concert we went to? That was fun! Speaking of fun, I was just balancing my checkbook…”

Or, if you’re feeling particularly bold, a simple text. “Hey! Hope you’re having a good week. Just wanted to circle back on that $20 I lent you for pizza last Tuesday. 😉” The winky face is crucial here. It softens the blow. Or at least attempts to.

Now, sometimes. The casual approach is met with… silence. Or a vague promise. “Oh yeah, totally. I’ll get that to you soon.” Soon is a very elastic word, isn’t it?

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This is where we move into the “slightly more direct” phase. Still aiming for polite. But with a tad more clarity. Think of it as upgrading from a whisper to a firm but friendly suggestion.

A good tactic is to frame it around your own needs. “Hey, I’m trying to save up for this new [thing]. Any chance you could send over that money you owe me for [previous event]?”

This makes it less about them being forgetful. And more about you having a legitimate reason to need the funds. It’s a subtle shift. But it can be effective.

What if they still don’t budge? Or they start avoiding your calls? This is where your inner detective might need to make an appearance. Subtly, of course.

You might “accidentally” mention a big purchase you’re making. Or a bill you’re paying. “Oh, just paid my rent. That always stings, doesn’t it? Speaking of finances, I was just wondering about that loan…”

It’s all about planting seeds. And hoping they don’t sprout weeds. Or more importantly, that they sprout a direct deposit.

There’s a special kind of person. The one who always owes someone money. They seem to float through life on a cloud of borrowed cash. And they’re masters of deflection.

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You ask for your $50. They launch into a ten-minute monologue about their landlord. Or their cat’s sudden allergy to expensive kibble. Anything but paying you back.

For these individuals, you might need a strategy. A more… structured approach. Still avoiding the legal system, for now. That’s for people who enjoy filing paperwork. And wearing very serious suits.

Consider a payment plan. If the amount is significant. “Hey, I understand things can be tight. How about we set up a plan? You send me $10 a week until it’s all settled?”

This shows you’re willing to be flexible. And it breaks down a large sum into manageable chunks. For both of you.

Some people genuinely forget. They’re not malicious. They just have the memory capacity of a goldfish when it comes to financial obligations.

For them, consistent, gentle reminders are key. Not nagging. But a steady, low hum of “remember the money.” Like a gentle alarm clock.

Another tactic is the “group effort.” If the money was lent for a shared expense. Like a group gift. Or a shared vacation. You can rally the troops.

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“Hey everyone, just a reminder that we need to collect the remaining funds for [event]. Let’s get those payments in soon so we can [achieve something].”

This takes the direct pressure off you. And puts it on the group. Peer pressure can be a powerful, albeit slightly uncomfortable, motivator.

Now, what about the truly stubborn? The ones who act like you’re asking for their firstborn? You’ve tried everything. And you’re starting to consider… drastic measures.

Drastic measures, in this context, still don’t involve lawyers. Or shady characters. Unless your shady character is a particularly persistent squirrel who keeps burying nuts in their yard.

Perhaps it’s time for the “I need it for [specific, urgent thing]” approach. “Hey, listen, I know this is awkward. But I’m actually facing a really unexpected expense. My car needs major repairs. Could you please send over that money you owe me?”

The urgency can sometimes break through the denial. Or the forgetfulness. It plays on their potential empathy. Or at least their desire to not be the reason your car is now a permanent lawn ornament.

There’s also the passive-aggressive route. It’s not my favorite. But I’m not judging. If you’re going there, tread carefully.

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You could, for example, start posting inspirational quotes about honesty and integrity. On social media. Where they might see them. 😉

Or you could “accidentally” leave a receipt for the borrowed amount on their doorstep. With a little smiley face drawn on it. This is advanced-level passive aggression. Use with caution.

Honestly, the best approach is often prevention. The next time someone asks to borrow money. And you feel that familiar pang of dread. Ask yourself. Is this person reliable? Have they ever paid me back before?

If the answer is “no.” Or “are you kidding me?” Then it might be time for a polite refusal. “Oh, I’m a bit tight on funds myself right now.” Or, “I’m not really lending money at the moment.”

It’s a hard skill to master. Saying no. But it’s a money-saver in the long run. And it prevents these awkward debt-collection escapades.

But back to the present. Your money is missing. And you want it back. Remember, the goal is to get paid. And to keep your sanity. And ideally, your friendships.

So, keep it light. Keep it friendly. And if all else fails. Just start humming that tune. The one about the borrower being the lender’s slave. Very, very loudly. Near their window.

Just kidding. Mostly. But seriously, a little persistence. A lot of patience. And perhaps a dash of humor. Might just get your hard-earned cash back into your pocket. Where it belongs.