So, you want to embrace your inner couch potato in BitLife? Let's talk about crafting the ultimate lazy life. Forget those high-flying careers and responsible choices.
The Art of the Underachiever
First things first, ditch the academic ambitions. Sure, getting a scholarship to Oxford sounds impressive, but who wants all that studying? Instead, aim for mediocrity or even just barely scraping by.
High school dropout? It's a valid life choice! Embrace the freedom, and maybe pick up a low-paying job that requires minimal effort. Think dishwasher, or maybe that gig at the hotdog stand.
Choosing the Right Path (or Lack Thereof)
When it comes to careers, think easy peasy. Janitor? Perfect. Unemployed? Even better! Your goal is to minimize effort and maximize free time.
Avoid promotions like the plague. Stay right where you are, comfortably nestled in your low-stress, low-responsibility position. Remember, you're aiming for leisure, not leadership.
Don't even think about starting a business. Too much work! Let someone else deal with the stress of employees and profits. You'll be chilling on the beach (figuratively, of course, unless you inherit some sweet beachside property).
Relationship? Nah...
Relationships are hard work. All that talking and compromising? No thanks. But if you must, keep it casual. No need to put a ring on it.
Avoid having kids at all costs. Those little rugrats are expensive and demanding! They'll interrupt your napping schedule. Pets? Maybe a goldfish. Low maintenance is key.
If you do find yourself in a relationship, don't put too much effort into maintaining it. Apathy can be surprisingly effective. Just remember to occasionally compliment them, or gift them something cheap!
Financial Freedom (the Lazy Way)
Okay, you're lazy, not broke. There are a few ways to achieve financial freedom without lifting a finger. The lottery, of course, is always a solid (if unreliable) option. Buy a ticket every year and cross your fingers.
Inheritance is your best friend. Be nice to your relatives, even if you don't really like them. You never know when a rich aunt might kick the bucket and leave you her fortune.
Marry rich! Look for older, wealthy partners, and, well, you know the drill. Morbid? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely. Just be sure to pre-nup, unless you are aiming for something else...
Mastering the Art of Passive Income
If you absolutely must work, invest in real estate. Buy a cheap property, rent it out, and collect the passive income. Boom! Money without effort.
Just don't get too carried away with managing your properties. Keep it simple. Minimal upgrades, minimal repairs. If the roof leaks, let the tenants deal with it.
Avoid risky investments. You're not trying to get rich quick. You're trying to fund your lifetime supply of potato chips. Stay conservative, my friend.
The Ultimate Lazy Life
So, there you have it: the guide to living the ultimate lazy life in BitLife. Embrace the underachievement, shun responsibility, and prioritize leisure above all else.
It's not about winning; it's about surviving (comfortably) without expending any unnecessary energy. Now go forth and be gloriously, unapologetically lazy.
Remember to always choose "Watch TV" as an activity. That can't be emphasized enough!
